From Meeting On The Set Of A Porn Film To Being Nominated For A Webby Award. Meet The Amazing Ladies of Sex-Positive Youtube Show “Come Curious”
From meeting on the set of a porn film to being nominated for a Webby award (which you can vote for right now). The amazing ladies of sex-positive YouTube show “Come Curious” and Podcast “F**ks Given” are the unapologetically honest voices of sex education in 2020. Whether you want to invest in a new sex toy or want some advice on how to discuss kinks and fetishes with your new partner. These ladies have you covered! We got the opportunity to ask the ladies a few questions about their career journey so far and the importance of sex-positive sex education in teenagers and adults of all ages!
Can you tell us about “ComeCurious” and what’s it about?
ComeCurious is a sex-positivity movement, utilising technology to spread our legs around the world and squirt useful information to everyone who wants to answers when it comes to sex, bodies, mental health, and self-love. We’re anti-shaming, confidence-building educators based on YouTube and Instagram with a pioneering podcast called F**ks Given which has had over 1 million downloads so far. We’re really big into live events and so you may find us participating in panels and talks on everything sex-related!
How did your channel come into fruition?
The two of us actually met on a porn set and from there we became really good friends. We lived together and all we spoke about was sex. Reliving all the things we were too afraid to talk about with friends and family: comparing kinks and fetishes, discussing nipple hair and discharge! Basically everything we didn’t get to learn in sex education. We found that by having these open conversations we felt so much more confident in our sexualities and bodies. We wanted to open up the dialogue to the rest of the world to see if we could get other people feeling less like freaks and be able to own their sexualities.
What were your careers/jobs before you started the channel?
We both come from TV/film backgrounds having studied Production at university, but we both had the shared passion to work with sex on camera. We wanted to move porn away from the stereotypical commercial hardcore straight f**king you see on most porn sets. We wanted to create beautiful, cinematic, realistic erotica. So we both found ourselves working in the porn industry before we even started ComeCurious. We’ve actually continued to work in this industry as we’ve now co-directed two ethical, educational porn films with Erika Lust’s company Xconfessions, and we can’t wait to continue that series!
ComeCurious was always a side project, a hobby. We never thought it would grow into what it has today! Throughout the five years ComeCurious has existed we have both worked full-time, and it’s only just this last year that we’ve been able to focus on it more as our full-time job!
What do you think of how sex education is taught in schools today?
We hope that sex education has changed since we were at school. We’ve heard that there have been new initiatives that support inclusivity and diversity in Sex Ed. But honestly, it is quite hard for us to comment because it differs from school to school, country to country. We’re still shocked that some schools refuse to teach sex education, and parents are allowed to take their children out of the classes. We hear from a lot of our fans that ComeCurious is the first sex education that they’ve come across because our content is available online and for free.
Can you explain why sex education is important, not only as a teenager (just starting out) but also as an adult?
We believe sex education should be for all ages because we’re all (and that includes us) constantly learning about sex and our bodies. We should have education in place to teach people of all ages. Children need to learn about their bodies and consent from a young age – obviously, this should always be age-appropriate, and change as kids get older. In our current climate, we find most teenagers learn their sex ed from porn, which can be really damaging for their mental health and self-esteem, and doesn’t address the idea of consent or how you receive and give pleasure.
As we’re constantly changing – mentally, physically, and sexually – we need sex education for all ages without judgment. We’re always going to have questions – even we don’t have all the answers. One thing we learned from creating our podcast ‘F**ks Given’ is no matter how much you think you know, there’s always more to learn.
What are your thoughts on the censorship of women’s bodies on social media platforms like Instagram and youtube?
We think because of the way we’ve been taught about sex, many of us can’t separate a nude body from being something sexual. So this thinking has trickled down into the way social media censors bodies. We’ve been tackling censorship on Instagram and YouTube our whole ComeCurious career. For a long time on YouTube, we were demonetised because we spoke about sex and used explicit language, meaning we earnt literal pennies for the millions of views our videos have had. We’ve been deleted multiple times on Instagram because of non-sexual semi-nudity (hardly even nude!). Reed has had LGBTQ content continuously removed for years on her personal account, and it’s been deleted 7 times! We had a post about shaving rash which was really popular on our ComeCurious account which had gathered a lot of useful tips for people removed because it was showing a bit of skin in the pubic region.
We don’t agree that women’s bodies should be under censorship, we need to see REAL bodies, and more of it to normalise nudity and unsexualise it. An example is that men’s nipples are fine to show, and women’s are not, but men’s nipples could be just as sexualised as women’s! It’s just full of hypocrisies.
What is your advice to couples who are isolating separately right now? How do they keep their sex lives going…remotely?
Keep the communication alive! It’s so hard right now for people being separated from their partners, and it’s really easy to think that other people have it better, but the grass is never greener on the other side. So we need to get used to communicating through technology, it can be hard to grasp at first, maybe even a bit awkward if you’ve never done it before! But we think during this time it’s such a useful tool for staying close and creating intimacy in new ways during this time. We’re not just talking about instant messenger, we’re talking about voice notes, phone and video calls, sending photos! Actually seeing the person virtually may seem pointless but it really makes a difference for building that connection separately.
We just posted a video up on our YouTube channel all about phone sex tips, where we talk about everything you can do to make pleasure in isolation work. Some of our best tips from that video have been exploring new sex toys that can be operated remotely by your partner with an app! (WeVibe has a few). It can be tricky to transition from a normal video call to having video sex… we suggest starting a flirty conversation about masturbation or what you’d love to be doing together right now, even just talking about your sexual kinks and desires. Moving the conversation into something sexy can turn up the heat. Then it’s just about diving straight in! Using sex toys is a great way to get good pleasure during the call so you don’t have to focus so much on pleasuring yourself whilst looking sexy on camera.
It’s also good to be aware that planning and doing all these things will get hard at some points and you will be feeling lonely even with the things you can do through technology. It’s not going to replace physical intimacy but it can help us cope with it. We do have to throw caution to the wind though when it comes to sending nudes, video sex, and sexting. Revenge porn is a thing, and it’s at an all-time high during these isolation times. So when you’re getting sexy with someone, make sure it’s someone you trust. OR if sending photos, make sure the photos or video you send don’t have any identifying features, like tattoos, your face etc. Then you can still have fun without the worry!
What are your top tips for women who want to meaningfully explore self-pleasure for the first time?
We highly recommend making your masturbation into solo sex. Just because it’s by yourself doesn’t stop it from being an amazing sexual experience. We’re both believers in finding your own sexual pleasure first before you get others involved. Knowing what you find pleasurable yourself makes partnered sex easier and more satisfying. Listen to your body, don’t ever force it. If you’re feeling horny utilise that time and make the most of it! Never feel shameful for what turns you on, just roll with it! We all have dirty, weird and uncommon fantasies, and they’re all amazing! Some people like to set the vibe. Maybe put some sexy music on, something that you like, candles, maybe even run a bath. You want to be relaxed and comfortable, that’s the best time to really experience maximum pleasure.
Even though we are both experts in how to make ourselves cum, sometimes our brains and bodies don’t want to play ball, which is super normal – never think there’s something wrong with you for not being about to achieve an orgasm, it happens to all of us! To get out of your head and into your body, listen to your breath – there are techniques that help you visualise the pleasure moving through your body with each inhale and exhale! We have a video on our channel with Grace Hazel, who taught us some amazing techniques!
One of the least talked about secrets of self-pleasure is LUBE! Lube isn’t just there for people who can’t create their own lubrication, it’s an amazing tool for getting you revved up, to begin with, especially with toys. Having a bottle of lube next to your bed is an absolute must, especially some of our fave organic lubes like which can help the natural PH of our sensitive princess vaginas.AND of course, sex toys are a great addition and can be great if you find your hands don’t quite do the trick!
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